Emotional and Stress Eating — It's OK to Ask for Help

I never asked for help. I suffered in silence as a teen. I was in a family where life felt like a whirlwind of stress, anxiety and worry. I was not allowed to be a kid. I was forced to know about all of my parent's adult problems and was used as a counselor rather than a child. I didn't know what to do about all of these very adult problems and therefore I turned to FOOD to numb myself, to push down the emotions that I didn't want to feel, and I certainly did not know how to ask for help. I messed up my insides pretty bad. I found that I couldn't digest correctly and had serious abdominal pain.

I felt absolutely desperate. I, for whatever reason, felt that I had to be perfect to be worthy of love... ironically, of course I was not perfect, so I never really believed I deserved love. So, as a high schooler, I began gaining weight and of course, could not hide the fact that I had to eat to drown my stress, sorrow and complete lack of control over my life. So, I wore my imperfection out in the open. Openly admitting I was not worthy. Like a moth to a flame, here came the folks that read victim all over myself, and I was an easy target. No one came to my rescue. I kept quiet.

It wasn't until many years later, after becoming a victim, that I came to realize that perhaps my life was worth fighting for — and something had to change. That I had to change. I began studying, becoming knowledgeable about how the human mind works. I finally realized that I was not alone. That many humans have this issue — and it was not only not our fault, it is a coping mechanism. I learned I was actually taking care of myself, protecting myself in the best way I knew how. Even more importantly, I have learned that adversity definitely can build strength, empathy and self-confidence. I realize now that adversity creates an opportunity to grow and evolve.

Many years later, I find myself devoting my entire life to help others with issues that our mind has fabricated to survive. Afterall, the goal is to THRIVE, not just SURVIVE, right? Fortunately, in the last decade or two, neuroscience has shed much light on why we eat to relieve stress or turn to food to numb ourselves from pain and negative emotions. See, the mind has two specific parts (and therefore, operations). In the "Survival Brain" — our Amygdala activates a stress circuit, which triggers the Nucleus Accumbens (reward center) which engages the Hypothalamus (appetite center).

The cycle looks something like this: A stimulus enters the brain. It is interpreted by one part of the brain or the other — either the Survival auto-pilot brain or the more advanced Human Mind (or mid pre-frontal cortex). In the Survival Brain, it activates cravings, overreactions, or shutdowns. An inaccurate message drives us — "I get safety from eating sweets." We respond in a maladaptive way by overeating poor foods. This is a non-conscious "thought" and an auto response. Our stress activated chemicals control us, causing cravings (high dopamine), hunger (ghrelin and insulin), and over time, may cause low serotonin (depression) and weight gain (leptin). The Hypothalamus causes us to feel lethargic. What do we do to gain energy back? We tend to overeat. This spiral just continues as programmed.

The Stress Eating Solution

We can train our brains to take in stimulus and enter it into the more advanced Human Mind, in the mid pre-frontal cortex. Once a stimulus enters here, there are balanced feelings. An accurate message "thought" guides us — "I get my safety from connection with myself and others." We respond in an adaptive way and eat to nourish our bodies without the stress loop activated.

To begin: Stop all food judgements. Remember, anytime you are in judgement you are in the Survival Brain! Become more curious about our thoughts and "old wiring" of our brains; we become more aware and begin to evaluate them.

Begin the process of emotionally checking in, especially before eating. Many of us don't even realize we are stressed. There is a specific process with proven research to move us through these thoughts and begin to re-wire our brains, so our brain can begin to work in our favor, and not against us. It's time to apply brain science to overeating and stress eating, so that we can experience optimal well-being!

Remember, there is always time to heal, evolve and grow! My Health and Life Coaching focuses on where we are now, aware of how we are wired, and work to re-wire in a more positive manner. It's just like getting a new update on your computer! We just update, we don't criticize or berate ourselves — or our brain — for doing the best we could under the circumstances. Give yourself a big hug and ask for assistance.